Time's scythe, shuttered by a camera obscura
Purchased with quarters and dimes
Pressed from the hands of true believers
Not saved over the years but
Caught with a net at moment's intent
Due payment, the transaction is applied
Like layers of white gauze over
A row of swollen stitches
Unsanctified healing
Alive like a bullet from a flash of powder
Air oxygen ferrous clay breathes and sweats
Sweet salt develops into images
Inside the darkroom every fraction of a second
Servants of will-power stoke the boiler
Bladed shutters open
When the gauze falls away
Scars of indiscretion are masked by
A cake of cadmium persona
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2 comments:
Wonderful poem- especially liked -
Like layers of white gauze over
A row of swollen stitches
Unsanctified healing
Not sure about the last line of the poem.
This is pretty powerful and revision might make it more so. I had to puzzle over it a while, but the mental work was rewarding and made me highly appreciative of your skill at presenting surreal but valid portraits. My guess is that the metaphorical comparison of the chemical photographic process and the wounding of human skin, is meant to show the contrast between what people try to make of themselves (persona), and what the collection of scars/photos compiled constantly actually make (person). The effect on me is a medium stun that I carry with me when I observe people. The poem would be more effective (a heavier stun) if I had more help with the first stanza; I’m not sure who the true believers are and what they intend with their support. The fact that the purchase of the camera is “not saved up for” but happens moment-by-moment is a very acute insight about “will power” and how we actually make the decisions that produce such awful duality in our selves -- and I don’t know if you should make that insight easier to discern or not. Maybe when the true believers come clear, it will be more incisive.
It’s a very fine piece and I regret overlooking it previously. Thanks for leaving it up so long without recognition.
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